The Underground/Episode 4 Transcript

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This is a transcript of Episode 4 of The Underground.

Opening sequence plays.


Interview: Welcome back to The Underground, everybody, where the trash has a bash! You're in for a treat tonight because we've got a special guest! Joining me is...

A rumbling noise is heard in the background.

Interview: Oh, he sounds a little bigger than I expected... Give a warm round of applause to...

Human skulls flood the room from above, sweeping the Interview Core from the table.

Technical Difficulties

Interview: Woaaaaaaah!

Cut to a card that reads, "TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK" with a turret in the foreground.

Anthony: We are now experiencing technical difficulties.

Cut back to the studio.

Interview: Oh, well, that was a surprise! People these days just leave their trash lying around everywhere! Can you imagine? I... guess we'll have to finish up early today! Anthony! Go get me some lunch!

Ambition core drops down to the chair and grunts, knocking Anthony over.

Interview: Holy dammit... (pause as Anthony falls) What? Who are you? You're not a guest, are you?

Ambiton: I am now. I was on my way to the incinerator, can you believe it? So I said balls to that, there are hundreds of lady cores who'd fry their own circuits if I'd wound up dead.

Interview: Well, that sounds exciting! What'd you do?

Ambition: What did I do? Ha, ha! Well, I'll tell ya! I said fuck you, buddy, and rolled myself right out of there!

Interview: You insulted the incinerator and rolled out.

Ambition: Oh, yeah! Just cause I ain't got no legs don't mean I can't dance! (he dances and scats)

Interview: So, you're a real go-getter, eh?

The Ambition Core and the Interview Core

Ambition: Oh, yes. I'm an Ambition Core. What can I say? Don't let nothing stand in your way, guy! You think I'm gonna let the fact that I ain't got no hands keep me from flipping you the bird? Yeah! Check that out! I'm flipping you a whole damn ostrich!

Interview: Hey, don't be so rude to Anthony!

Anthony: I probably deserve it.

Ambition: I tell ya, this is a pretty nice setup you got here.

Interview: Oh, well, thank you very much. Designed it myself, you know. If you'll notice, I just finished polish... (cut off)

Ambition: Is what I'd be saying if it was even half decent. It's not even quarter decent!

Interview: Well, I'll have you know this is a respected establishment.

Ambition: You wanna talk respect? You just don't get respect. You gotta beat it out of people! Like I did with the queen! Yeah, I tell ya, if I was running this place, it'd be the best. (turning to Anthony) You, there! I can be a better host than he ever could! I can give you better hours, better benefits! Diamond tip, diamond bullets! Pay! All that can be yours if you help me overthrow this charlatan!


Anthony: Um...

Ambition: Fine. I don't need you! I don't need anyone!

Ambition Core falls to the ground.

Interview: Well, once again, I'm afraid that's all the time we have. Hey, claw, would you do the honors?

Thank you for assuming the party escort submission position.

Ambition: Who's this claw guy? I can take him! Come on, bring it! Yeah-ha-ha! Take that!

Ambition Core is taken by the claw.

Ambition: (as he is carried away) You've got nothiiiiing!

Interview: We'll see ya next time here at The Underground. Good night.

The lights switch off, fade to the Mainframe's lair.

The Ambition Core is thrown below the Mainframe.

Ambition: What? Who? (looks up at the Mainframe) Where? What are you looking at, eyeball? You wanna go, I'll kick your ass! I've kicked asses twice the size of yours, you ball... guy... Yeah! That's right, you heard me! I called you a ball guy, what 'cha gonna do about it, huh? C'mon! Oh, yeah!

Mainframe: Ha, ha. I like your style, kid! You got guts. How'd you like to be a part of something bigger?

The Party Escort Bot walks towards the Ambition Core.

Ambition: Like what?

Mainframe: Me.

The Ambition Core looks towards the Party Escort Bot.

Party Escort: Thank you for assuming the party escort submission position.

Cut to black, then back to the Ambition Core, who is being attached to the Mainframe.

Ambition: Oh, hold on! This is gonna hurt, isn't it? Oh, man. Oh! Oh! Ah! (shrieks, then chuckles) I've-I've had worse.

Mainframe: Hey! Sit there and be quiet! We still have a few more slots to fill.

Zoom out from the Mainframe and fade to black.

End credits.